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Friday, May 20, 2016

Self-realizations: Getting older yet wiser, is it enough?

Self-Realizations #1 April, 2010   Sun, April 4, 2010 - 4:59 AM
Self-Realizations #1 April, 2010

I can feel myself getting older - but perhaps I'm getting wiser, too. I am starting to fear less that time when I won't be 'attractive' anymore because it is slowly dawning on me that I'll still be attractive to some people because of a couple of simple reasons:

1) As I get older, so do a lot of other people. So their perceptions also change as do their tastes and attractions. So even I fear losing my hairline or getting a droopy chin or sagging neck, there are also a lot of men my age and even younger who are aging even faster (or at least at the same rate).

2) Real beauty is only skin - just deeper, please.

3) Great sexual stimulation does not always involve penetration and cumming in a hole.

4) Good photography can work wonders! (lol) and so does makeup and face-lift, but I'll think I have to do without the latter two.

5) There is a lot to be said about being admired, respected and even adored by a horde of younger men who see me more and more as a father figure-type guy whom they would like to emulate.

A Comment   Shortly afterward, a new friend on added these reflective and comforting words.

Sun, April 4, 2010 - 7:25 AM
As I sit here and ponder over your great words of truth and wisdom, i realize that as we grow older, we indeed become wiser and even our bodies become more and more sensitized to the sensual pleasures of intimacy, many on entire new levels, which I love so much in my own body. When I turned 40, I felt a wonderful change of a more mellow personality and taking less for granted in my daily life, appreciating the material world less and less has really helped me to grow and deepen my own maturing rite of passage...

Also I find that my sexual desires have changed in many ways, like you mentioned, their is so much more to our sexuality and sexual desires than that of penetration and cumming quickly... I now enjoy savoring all the deep rooted creative juices that flow inside me when I'm sexing.... just the joys of being with another person sharing honest and loving nakedness. Sharing the truth of our bodies mind and soul, its a Glorious thing to celebrate and honor... So my words to you as you continue to journey into and through your own maturity. enjoy the process and what a blessing its been to talk with you here, to share these important thoughts.                                                                                                                       Warmest friendship,

My Response
Kelly On 2 sides of Pacific
Mon, April 5, 2010 - 4:22 PM

Pias, Thank you for writing about my developing self-realizations. I'm sure there are more to emerge or crystallize sooner or later.

They stem from two major factors:

1) I'm a gay man who's had to (or felt compelled) to live my life in a somewhat duplicitous way.
 - I've lived a double life (not to everyone who matters - by the way). Gay / Straight, married but acting in places and time like a single gay male, I'm both a father/son, but also sexually active with other gay men, some my age, older and young enough to be my sons - most of the latter was anonymous sex - pick-ups, clandestine encounters, tearooms or furtive sex with strangers.

The dawning realization is that life was unfulfilling and rather empty. Maybe that's being a bit too harsh.. but it's how I feel at the moment.

2) The second fact (and factor) is that I am aging: getting older. It had always been to not disclose my real age because I had a youthful appearance: slim body, dark hair, few wrinkles. Now those physical markings - the signs of age -- are becoming all too evident. I can no longer either truthfully or even deceptively hid my real age much longer.

It's not simply a matter of my own perception of a lack of my own 'attractiveness' as a older man. I think I will alter my own self-perception once I can accept the facts. But aging brings with it many other gifts and some benefits which - while I had heard people speak of -- my parents, older friends, co-workers, famous persons (writers, actors) among others, I had not experienced it for myself - so I remained unconvinced that I could find anything good thing about becoming old (a relative term, I agree). At least until recently. More to follow. does not send out notifications (as does Blogger) or allow other important features. So generally my blog entries get re-published on several different of blogs on multiple platforms (and via RSS).

Thanks for inspiring me, Pias. Your connection and understanding with your own physical sexuality is pretty amazing to hear about and gets me tantalized to read and think about.

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