LIST of my blogs and sites at: https://kelly-sb.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html

LATEST UPDATE: ------------------------------------

See new Facebook event page sponsored in part by the new Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/cmnmdudes/
Visit the CMNM Group & Forum on JUB http://www.justusboys.com/forum/group.php?groupid=40


The CMNM Site on Pridesites collects together all the parts (sites, blogs, application, links) into one set of pages. (Note: Several of the links no longer work. Eventually, they will be replaced or deleted.)

CMNM Events: See list of upcoming CMNM events on Eventbrite:

Check out the London CMNM Group via Meetup.com

Los Angeles M4M Strip Poker Group's Parties happen semi-regularly. See info on right --->

More ideas or info is included at my JustUsBoys (blog) is a list of more possible CMNM events, some held, all not yet decided or scheduled, but with your help they will be.


Send in your place or ideas on where CMNM does or could happen, tell us about a CMNM event, or make suggestions or comments about events on the following form: CMNM Places Form

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Has your friend's dad ever hinted at fooling around? Part 6


I have not had any experience with any of my friend's dads but I had a very interesting encounter with my next door neighbours eldest son who was about twenty six at the time.

When I was about thirteen I used to go to my next door neighbours house to watch TV as we did not own a TV. There were two sons who were older than me and two who were younger. One of the older sons had been away for a few years and came back to stay for a while. His old bedroom was now their TV room. One day when I was there the parents and three of the sons had to go out but they said it was okay for me to stay and watch the TV. The older of the sons came home just after they left and went to have a shower, when he came back into the room where I was watching the TV he only had a towel wrapped around his waist. He sat on his bed and pulled the towel out from under himself and proceeded to dry his shoulder length dark hair. He had dark hair across his chest and also in his pits and down his abdomen.


I lost interest in the TV show I had been watching and my dick was getting very hard as I watched him dry off. He suddenly stood up and began to wipe the towel over his cock and balls and his dark, thick pubic hair. When I saw this my cock began straining at the inside of my shorts leg. He continued to wipe his cock and walked towards me and said.

"Have you ever seen one like this?"
"No," I said staring at his growing cock.

"I can see that yours is hard already," he said and knelt down and rubbed my dick through my shorts and then ran his fingers up under the leg of my shorts and pushed it up exposing my knob. He leant forward and took my cock into his mouth and sucked. It was the most amazing sensation I had ever experienced and I reached down and took hold of his lovely cock. It felt warm and hard and there was a trickle of precum oozing from his piss slit. I jerked him off as he continued to lick me until I came. He then stood up and took his cock into his own hand and jerked himself to climax then he went over to his bed and got dressed just as the rest of his family came home. Unfortunately we never did anything else together as he went away again soon after and only returned occasionally. But for years after whenever I had a wet dream I could still feel his warm breath on my thigh.

---------------------------------

I should also preface, that my "girlfriend" wasn't really my girlfriend but were each other's beards- we were close friends, but when our parents assumed we were going out, they started to give us money to go to movies, dinner, ect... this was good because we were in high school at the time, and had no money. Not to mention did not want to come out just yet, so we played it out. So one night, Molly and I were chilling up in her room getting baked as fuck, when her mom knocked on the door and asked us if we were presentable, like a knee jerk reaction we both shouted "no" as the room was thick with smoke. her parents were cool with me over, as we had beed "dating" for a year an a half already.

"So do you guys want to watch a movie with us" apparently Mr B was home
Molly yelled "Uggg, No not right-" "that sounds great" I interrupted (the parents really liked me )
"great, we are having turkey for dinner, do you want any will?"

"nahh i'm good" rethinking my state, "Actually, turkey would be uhh ... wonderful"
"it's all ready" "come down soon so we can all watch the movie... its a wonderful movie about blah blah blah"

We composed ourselves, reassuring each other that we really didn't look that fucked up, and stumbled downstairs. We grabbed a plate of turkey and started the movie.
Molly's head was resting in my lap when her parents walked in. Her dad walked in first, He was 5 10" and not really in shape, but not over weight either, just average. He was 43, and had been a punk rocker when he was a teenager, and would always wear some kind of leather, today though, he just had short gym shorts on and wife beater. perfect for looking at his body, his body didn't have too much hair, and his back had none. His hair was short, with a flip in the front, and had been going gray ever since i had meet him, and by now it was a nice salt and pepper color.

 He walked in, caught my eye, and winked at me. We had been playing this weird, who was going to smile first, game since i had first meet him... he won majority of the time. I raised an eyebrow, and he looked at his wife behind him. She was coming up behind in some momo thing, "i'm going to have another drink, honey? Molly, ask Will if he wants a drink. i want a maaaamoooosaaaa." (Drunk house wives entertain me)

Molly was staring at the ceiling, "what?"
"Will do you want a beer?" Mr B asked. "ummm" i said looking anywhere but at him.

He grabbed a 6 pack and put it on the end table next to my left arm table, "feel free." looking at me in the eye.

I glanced down at the beer, only where the beer was, Mr B's bulge was level with it. To not act weird i looked up back into his face, and reached out for the bottle closest to his crotch, not looking, "i'll play" i thought, but when i went to grab it he moved up a little and my hand brushed up against him, i felt his cut cock from under his thin shorts. It felt like an eternity, staring up at his smirking, then surprised face. He winked, and i looked down at his cock which started to pop up and expand.

Our eyes met for a split second, then Mrs. B stumbled into the room. Molly was still staring at the ceiling, her eyes slowly closing until her mom jumped on the adjacent couch. "Sit here" she ordered to Mr B. She leaned in his lap the way Molly was in mine.
The two couches were facing each other, and i could see his reaction to Mrs. B's slamming her head on his cock.

He winced, and i chuckled. He looked up at me smiling, and i winked. Molly and her mom were asleep before for the trailers were over, I knew i was the only one watching the movie, but i could feel Mr B looking at me, head to toe over and over again. I was so glad Molly was asleep, if she knew she slept on a my fully erect dick.

The movie ended, and we both woke our ladies on our laps.
"i should probably take Will home" (i was 16- but didn't have a car)
Molly just rolled back over on the couch, "whatever"
Mrs. B didn't even wake up.

"Should we be worried about her?"
"No, she's fine"

We started down the hallway to leave the house, when Mr. B put his warm hand on my shoulder to stop me when we reached the front door, "You smoke grass, don't you?" "Ummmm" "I knew you did- lets go to the garage" with a shrug he lead the way.

I walked in, and the place was covered in old punk rock shit, leather, chains, posters, and such. He looked me, and said, one second, he ran over to a dest in the corner, and pulled out a pipe in the shape of a cock and balls. their was pot still in the pipe, he but the cock pipe to his mouth, and but the head all the way in. it was actual pretty funny to watch, lit a match and started it. Looking me in the eye the whole time. he took it out of his mouth and gave it to me, and i put the "head" to my lips. He walked over closer to me whilst i was was inhaling the smoke, I gave it back to him, he put it on the counter and started to hug me tightly kissing me, then started to work his way down to my neck, i was in ecstasy, my body was tingling all over, i slipped my hand around his shorts sliding them off, while he pulled off my shirt off my body.

Now i'm no jock, but have been going to the gym since i turned 13 and ran junior varsity track, but quit when i cut in to my smoking, so i have been keeping my self pretty fit, for a little while now, so when this daddy took off my shirt, and i had bigger arms then him, i felt like i could make him go down first, and boy did he, but when i started to cum, he flipped me over and with a squirt of some lube, was in me in no time. No protection, just blow, flip, fuck.

Needless to say my best sex yet!!!

Later on i was talking to Molly about her dad, and she mentioned that Mr B was only her step father- he real one died in... well not in a good way. So i never spoke to her about that night which is for the best. and we stopped hanging out a year ago.
---I do though, see her step dad all the time.

-----------------------

When I was 14 I slept over at a school friend's house and we watched "Jaws" until quite late. By the time it had finished my friend's mum and sister had gone to bed and he and his brother were asleep in the lounge so only myself and his dad were awake. The dad was about 40, handsome, about 5'8 and slim toned build. When the film finished he asked if I wanted a bottle of beer and asked me to go into the kitchen with him.

So I followed him in and as he got the beers I realised he was hard. He was purposely facing me all the time to make it obvious and when he knew I'd seen he pulled his pants below his balls and whipped his cock out. It was about 8 inches and uncut, he had big hairy balls too.


I had no idea what to do, I just stood there frozen. But then we heard noises in the other room and he quickly stuffed it away again and turned around to open the beers. His son (my friend) walked in and started chatting to us so the moment was lost. The rest of the night and the following day I spent at the house I never really spoke to the dad, it was a bit awkward.

But I was so curious about him and really wanted to do something about it so I arranged to sleep over again a few weeks later. When I got there I was disappointed because my friend's mum and dad had gone out for the night and wouldn't be back til late so that really dampened my mood. We went to bed around midnight - I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor next to my friend's bed.

Around 1:30 I woke to find my friend's dad creeping into the room. He motioned with his finger for me not to speak, crept over to me and knelt down. He was completely naked and rock hard, I was terrified but also extremely excited as he pulled my covers away, removed my boxer shorts and lay right on top of me. Again I did nothing, I just froze and was scared stiff that my friend would wake up. The dad started kissing me and I had to go along with it - my head said no but my cock was definitely saying yes! We spent a few minutes kissing and grinding, it felt absolutely incredible when his cock rubbed against mine - it didn't take long for me to cum and him neither, we came within seconds of each other and I remember he shot a massive load from my stomach to my neck and licked it all off straight away.

To finish, he sucked my cock clean and licked my hole a few times before kissing me again and whispering "thanks" in my ear before going back to his wife in bed. The whole thing lasted 5 minutes but it was my first sexual experience with an adult and to this date one of the most exciting. I remember the whole time we were grinding he was quietly moaning "oh son, oh son" so I get the impression he wishes he could do that with his son but was too scared so used me to act out the fantasy.


In the morning he'd gone to work by the time I woke and then I went back home. Although I remained good friends with his son, I never saw or spoke to his dad ever again and a few months later the family moved down South and I lost touch. But that memory will last forever!

------------------------------
This happened a few years ago when I was 20. I used to work out with weights in my garage, so if you drove past our house on our cul-de-sac you might see me working out. So one day my casual friend/neighbor's dad, who is a lieutenant in the town police force, walks over to me while I was cutting the grass. He says that now that his son is in the marines he won't be using his weights anymore. So the dad says that if I want I can pick up the weights in his basement.

I agreed and he said something like "I'll be working around in the basement, no need to knock, just come on down." So I was like, Okay, once I'm finished cutting the grass.

So about an hour later I go over and open the side door and walk down to the basement. It was eerie quiet and there was no evidence of any work being done. Everything was very orderly. I called his name to see if he was even there and then he appeared.

I said, Oh, hi. He nodded and said, Let me show you around. It was a finished basement and he wanted me to see all the work he had done. But I was wondering what work he was doing right now?  He said he was busy down here working. But on what? I saw absolutely nothing to indicate that any work of any kind was being done.

So he showed me around, the workstation, the bar, etc. I started to get the feeling that he was waiting for me down here. I got the strangest feeling that he was doing nothing but waiting for me. My heart started to race, cause I was just twenty and scared.

So after showing me around we're facing each other about six feet apart. He's just looking at me, standing still. Now I was getting really worried. My heart was pounding.

I awkwardly said, Uh, where's the weights? He showed me where they were and I just said thanks and started carrying them up. I made one more trip across the street and was hoping he would not be down there. He wasn't.

After that he drove his cop car around town and whenever he would pass my house he would look away, like he was embarrassed I guess.

If only he knew that now, years later, I whack off thinking of what might have been. I could have been on my knees giving this lieutenant head.

I was too young and stupid to do anything. Seize the day is what I learned.

And if you're a young buck who wants to get with an older guy just give him a sign, a hint. Admire his muscles and say something like, "Damn, you got a good build." See how he responds to that.




If it's a favorable response, next time let him see you looking at his chest and say, "U da man." Say it in a macho, admiring way. Soon after, let him catch your eyes on his fly for a split second. He'll put two and two together and then wait for him to make his move. When he does, GO FOR IT.


You know the expression "If only I knew then what I know now"? Well now I know that when I was younger I had a lot of power. I could have gone up to older, masculine studs and hit on them. Unlike a teen or a twenty something they're not likely to punch you out. They'll either be into it or they won't be. But I doubt you'd be bashed.

Just give hints and see where it goes. I'm still wishing I had sucked that cop off!
---------------------------


 

Friday, February 24, 2017

The CMNM dynamic drives a lot of men to explore 'gay' issues

        The above photo is only one of two dozen that a young man (who called himself Str8man) posted on another gay discussion board. The user explained that he was 'really' straight, but that he wanted (or needed) the advice of guys who could be honest about whether his 'dick' was big enough or not. It was obviously more than simply that because the posting of his self-pics (never the face) has gone on periodically for several months now.

       While initially a 'virgin', he explained during the course of the posts how
he had had sexual experiences with his girlfriend, but was often horny so considered getting a 'blowjob' from a guy at some point. I think this type of Net 'naked' exposure or self-revelation is symptomatic of what I call the need for male 'skinship' - a form of the CMNM experience. As our societies have accepted 'gayness' (at least to some legal extent), the stigma about being bi or gay - while not vanished - is certainly greatly reduced and for a few happy (no pun intended) gay men, it may be non-existent. However, at the same time, I think this new sexual 'freedom' for all males puts traditional self-identity in some type of young males and even older men into greater jeopardy. In a way, the macho male is even more threatened in his feelings of isolation and his lack of ability to make 'acceptable' buddy-buddy relationships with other males (particularly those a little older and wiser ) in whom he cannot fully confide or whose affection and need for intimacy he feels he must still largely deny - except for 'outburst' like this one on gay/bi Net sites. 

         In a way, gay sites are becoming the confessionals of a whole new
generation of males who crave deeper male intimacy - with or without everything else that is involved in a emotional romantic or sexual interpersonal relationship. For the young kid or full-blow teenage, (such as Str8man above) who may have no father (divorced parents) or even no close adult relationships at all - especially men because of today's climate of paranoia about the potential of 'child abuse' by ordinary adults and social authorities figures (teachers, counselors, coaches, priests). He may feel particularly isolated or alone in his feeling of inadequacy -- especially when he is growing up, going through adolescence's change and hormonal upheavals, and experiencing the first few sexual and romantic relationships. It seems to be all to common to see exactly we are seeing above -- it's emblematic of a larger social phenomenon. 

-------------------------------------------

 I think that many guys who visit (lurk) or participate in the message boards and forums of gay social networking and gay hook-up sites such as Dudesnude, JustusBoys, Gaywatch, Dlist, Lifeout, and definitely on sites such as DickFlash are actually craving CMNM experiences -- rather than true simply just sex to get off. It's not that they don't need or wan
t to get off (ejaculate) or that they don't need to communicate or try to relate and form relationships or friendship, but I believe that the need to profoundly reach a deep intimate level of emotional or psycho-sexual communication or interaction with other men - THAT fundamentally involves nudity - is a very strong force and a desire they feel that must fulfill.
**********************
Therefore, I would like to expand the definition of CMNM (clothed male - naked male). You can see that expanded definition in earlier entries of the blog I have started, devoted to this topic: Guys Into CMNM You can read it at: http://guysn2cmnm.blogspot.com Your experiences, stories, comments/reactions, Net resources, pics are welcomed as contributions for the CMNM blog. Please send them to: sunbunz AT gmail DOT com

**********************
           In CNMN experiences, not everyone involved needs to be to completely dressed or undressed (there can be mixed dressed/nude people in the same situation). It's the potential for nudity as a form of intimate or erotic communication that is more important than actually who is nude or clothed and how far each way. There can be more than one nude guys - it's just that there must be one clothed guys too. Often, guys can get CMNM thrills by being the dressed one or the naked one alternatively. I know that it works this way for me. I'm not passing any critical judgement on any other kind of male-oriented sexual lifestyle -- (flashing, BDSM, leather, role-playing (involving uniforms or costumes) because some people are turned on by multiple form of sexual stimulation - some of us are bisexual (past / present and future) and some of us get off flashing or simply just being exposed (or getting to see those who do). 

A true (extreme) dickflasher seems to get off by
showing an erect cock in places/situations where people don't expect it and are shocked to have the 'space' invaded by a hard dick.. at the extreme, it may be the only way he can get off (ejaculate). It seems that there are actually very few guys who fall into that category. 

         The CMNM (being exposed where clothed guys can view (and/or be visual stimuated) seems to find his (me being one of them) thrill in being naked in front of guys (dressed or in a state of dressing/undressing) where it's is more or less socially acceptable or at least tolerated (even glorified) - like a public street fair or a no-pants or strip night at a male-oriented bar, etc, or more 'innocently' in a locker room or frat party. But I know that in my case, I get a lot more
social/psychological fulfillment / satisfaction (?) and some erotic/sexual pleasure from being in a CMNM situation - especially where I can establish a personal relationship with the clothed (or naked) guys. Recently, I find this often happens in a hostel or similar situation (campground, at the beach or gym showers, or clothing optional resort, etc, where you meet and befriend strangers who later get to see you naked or even aroused - almost by 'accident' not totally by design). 

I collect a lot of CMNM photos and have them for 'friends only' on: http://www.flickr.com/people/sunbunz/ You have to join Flickr (free) and add me as friend to view the pics. Please STATE on your profile that you are 18 years old or OVER 18 This makes things legal and I'll get less flack from Flickr for pandering to minors. There are also thousands of Flickr groups (little discussion but lots of photos) devoted to different aspects of this same idea: Frat parties, doctor's physical exams, being naked in public (not just flashing from a alley or window), sports locker rooms, etc. My own Net photos collections are categorized in sets as such. There are also scores of Net porn sites devoted to some particular 'flavor' or scene that is strongly related to CMNM. There are also a few private and public groups on Yahoo and Tribe.net devoted to CMNM. 

* You must be a Flickr member and my Flickr friend to view the private pics on my Flickr photostream.
_________________ 

The spirit is willing but the flash is week day and weekend!


Saturday, February 4, 2017

How I Became a Boyhood Exhibitionist



A certain kind of CMNM experience

This experience was originally posted by Bill Williams to another group. It was subsequently distributed on the Thorngay Yahoo group mailiing list on January 27, 2008. It represents one boy's sexual development (into manhood) that is heavily centered about being exposed to other males, particularly in situations of helplessness (an important sub-theme for some CMNM enthusiasts NOTE: the photos were added (by this author: sunbunz - since Bill did not (and could NOT (LOL) provide his own).
[From thorngay Y! Group]
       There were enough [good] responses to my first email and the brief summation of some of the things I did to myself as a teen that I will now post my "Boy Scout Story"  [supposedly all true. ]


      I first realized I was an exhibitionist at a very early age, even tho I did not know what the word meant. I started out running out the back door and around a tree in the back yard in just my underpants. I don't know if it was the exhibitionist in me coming out, or if it just felt good running around like that, or just because it was "naughty". ?? Of course, I progressed to doing the same thing completely naked, and I really liked doing


that; something more daring?  I would sneak into my sister's room once in awhile, when nobody was home, and would put on some of her underpants and walk around the house that way. I even swiped a diaper off the neighbor's clothesline and would put that on, sometimes walking outside wearing just the diaper. Pretty soon tho, that became "old stuff", and I wanted to do something else, something more daring!

When I got a little older I was allowed to ride my bike away from my house, as long as I stayed within a mile or 2, even in the early evening.

There was a forest preserve about a mile from my house, that had a river running through it. During the day, there was hardly anyone in the park, just 1 or 2 people fishing sometimes. I would ride over there, go behind some bushes and take off my pants and underpants, and ride along the path wearing just a long T shirt. That was really neat, especially when I would meet someone on the path and have to really be careful not to stand up and show that I didn't have anything on under my T shirt. I had some really close calls, but that just made it more fun.


I progressed to riding my bike home like that, especially in the early evening. Sometimes, just as it was getting dark and just as a car was passing me, I would stand up, baring my butt just as the car passed me. That, too, soon got to be old stuff. Then I got the idea that it would be really neat if someone would see me totally naked. I guess that is when I progressed from being a little nudist to a full fledged exhibitionist. I would go near the end of the woods near the highway, take off all my clothes and walk along a path, jumping into the bushes if I though I heard someone coming. (Never saw anyone, tho). Then I would turn back, go right to the edge of the trees and when I saw a

bunch of cars coming, I would run across the clearing, stark naked, until I was sure they saw me, then back in to the woods, get my clothes, get dressed, and go home.


One day I saw a school bus with a bunch of kids going to camp or something, and when I was in the middle of the clearing, totally naked, I heard them shouting and laughing, and I knew a whole bus load of kids had seen me naked. I was so excited I could hardly sleep that night.That' s when it really started to get interesting. And I evolved into the "liking to be laughed at and humiliated" state of my life.


There was a Boy Scout Camp in the forest preserve, pretty far back in. One day, I was riding my bike along a path, (completely dressed for a change), when I ran into, (almost literally), a group of them hiking along the path. They were all a little older than me. An idea began forming in the back of my head. I went back the next day, and sure enough, the scouts came along at almost the same time. I scouted (no pun intended), along the path and found a clearing that had a bunch of tall trees, some with low hanging branches, about 6 feet off the ground. I went back the next day, almost 2
hours earlier. I had a 2 "choker" dog collars that were chains with rings at either end. You would slip the chain through one of the rings and form a loop that was supposed to go over the dog's head, and when he pulled on the leash too much, the chain would kinda choke him, making him slack off. Well, if you put on hand through the loop and then made another loop at the other end and put your other hand through, your hands were pretty effectively "chained" together. If you had the right size chain, it could be really difficult to get it off, especially if your hands were chained behind your back.


Anyhow, I got to the clearing and found a tree that had branches low enough that I could jump up, grab it and start climbing. I took all my clothes off. I put my socks in my shoes and tied them together, and threw them up into the tree. They caught on a branch about 12 feet up. I tied my jeans in a knot and wrapped them around a rock and then threw them as high as I could. They caught on a branch almost 20 feet up. Then I did the same with my T shirt. It wound up just above my shoes. 

My underpants were next. I wrapped them around a rock and threw them as high as I could. They caught on a branch just above my jeans.? I was now totally naked with all my clothes up in a tree. ?? I had given a lot of thought as to how I would chain myself, so as to give myself maximum "exposure".


If I just chained my hands behind my back, I could bend over or
kneel down and keep myself covered, and of course, that would not do. I wanted to be fully exposed when the scouts came by. So I decided I would chain myself to another tree. I also figured out that if I just wrapped my arms around the tree, only my bare bottom would be exposed. So I figured out that if I got on my hands and knees, backed up to the tree and fastened my ankles together around the tree, then leaned back and chained my wrists behind me and around the tree, I would be a kneeling position and fully exposed , with no hope of covering any part of me. So I backed up to the tree. When the first of them came into the clearing, he just stopped and stared at me. Then the others saw me and they all came over and just stood around looking at me. 

I told them some guys had caught me riding my bike and
pantsed me, and then threw all my clothes in the tree. All this time they just stood there and looked at me, most of them smiling and snickering. I also noticed that a couple of them were getting woodies, seeing me naked and chained like that. And being the only one there that was naked and chained to a tree with a bunch of older boys staring at me was getting me excited too, and my dick started to get hard too. They finally got me loose, and when I started to stand up I kinda stumbled from being chained up like that for so long, and 2 of them grabbed my arms to help hold me up.


Wow! Two older guys, fully clothed and me naked, holding me up. (one of them had his hand on my bottom) With 12 other guys looking at me. By this time I had a full hard on. Just couldn't help it. I was so excited. The best was yet to come. Nobody offered to get my clothes out of the tree, so that meant I was going to have to climb the tree, totally naked, with all 14 boys watching me. I walked over to the tree, and turned around so that I was facing them. I jumped up and tried to grab the lowest limb, but I couldn't reach it. After trying a couple times, with my dick flopping up and down with each try, two of them came over and held their hands cupped together so I could stand on them and they could boost me up and grab the limb.


I got a hold of it and hung there, fully stretched out soeverything was showing. Then I lifted my legs and hooked them over the limb, kinda spread out so that my asshole was in full view. I think I even tried to pucker it a little. After hanging like that a bit, I swung up and started climbing, making sure I stopped a little every time I was fully stretched out or spread out. I also had to scoot along some of the limbs, dragging my balls and bottom along the rough bark. I sure couldn't get dressed up in the tree, so  as I reached each article of clothing, I dropped them on the ground.



When everything was on the ground, (I was at the highest point
in the tree), I started to (slowly) work my way down, again stopping every so often and spreading my legs. I finally got down to the last limb and swung down, again holding on and hanging there as long as I could. When I dropped down, I "stumbled" and fell over backwards with my legs going up over my head. Then I got up and started getting dressed. And not one of them took his eyes off me until I finally pulled up my pants.