Picking up guys - An ongoing discussion and revelations

[ Most of this entry was excepted from a comment I wrote on Jo's blog]

Thanks to Jo Kristian of Histories of Sex Blog http://historiesofsex.blogspot.com for his own poll, and inviting us to answer the Sex Meme one below, and for generating the stimulating discussion on 'How to pick up guys for casual sex.'


His posts always get my hormones boiling especially when I imagine the parts that you cleverly (or coyly?) leave out of your descriptions of sexual adventuring.
My slant on 'making and taking one's opportunities' is too long to enunciate here. Gist: It's not so much a matter of what defines the sexual / erotic/ suggestive behavior, but what result(s) the behavior produces.

Let me briefly explain (exchanging comments only works for short conversations - I think).

For example, I often go out to walk my dogs (in turns since there are 3 of them) early in the morning (and sometimes at other times of day) with my zipper all the way down. With a untucked in shirt, it's not clearly visible UNLESS someone is actually glimpsing at it or trying to peer in order to get a look at my pubes or cock. You have commented on that before - you can TELL who's interested by

following the paths their eyes take as they approach.

The 'result' in your case might be a potential encounter in the bushes of the park. But for others of us, that's far less likely (in suburban Tokyo or London) so it just appears - in effect - to be an (older man's) exhibitionistic fetish behaviour. Neither of these is a problem but the actual result and also the way such behaviour is perceived by the person doing it, by the interested viewer, and the uninterested passer-by (even angry or disgusted), or even by hearsay in society can be enormously different and therefore have a great effect on the person doing it. There is probably less effect on the guys who notice and just try to forget about it.


Youth certainly has its charms and it often affords one the license to be free of guilt or very uninhibited since youth can choose to act on it - both in having desire or in the lack of it and any action.

What seems critical to me is the psychological game (a type of sexual ecology) that's going on in these situations. Thomas Mann's A Death in Venice is a classic portrait of the two sides of the romantic (and hardly even physical) chase between the young and the older male. I wonder what Tadzio was thinking when he noticed the older man watching him. It's probably a bit like that for you .. after all, you only in your early 20s. Think for a moment (oh..so briefly - if you will) of what things will be like when you are nearly 50 or even 70 years of age.

As always.. thanks for writing (and reading)....

Kelly (sunbuns99 / sunbunz)

  

Have you ever had sex with a real porn star?

On a recent Dudesnude.com discussion forum, there was a question asked:

Have you ever had Sex with a real porn star? How was it?
 
GermanBoy3

I personally did, two different guys. But I didn't see much difference other than I wad way more
nervous than normal, cause both of them are so hot!

So how was your experience?

-----------------

hungboi19 01 Oct 2011, 09:31 I love how no one is mentioning the names lol. Confidentiality? :P

While I didn't mention any names on the Dudesnude.com site, I will show the photos of a few of porn stars that I have communicated with (Either in chat, via a blog comment, on Twitter or by other means). None of these communications has been live or in person (like via a telephone). There are a couple more, but they have quit working longer ago, and I have had no further contact with them, and don't even know how to get in contact. One of them, a young twink guy who called himself Trox , got semi-famous posting sex videos of himself using a dildo on Youtube (and other sites). Later he worked briefly with porn star Brent Everett's studio, but probably quit the porn job to start college. He should have finished by now, so he may reappear suddenly. Note: The first guy on the far left is also famous for his 'pissing boys' videos, who once made a porn film with one of the other, who is even more famous for his water sports action films.

	Follow up: I wish I could say yes, but... at least, I have a couple I chat with regularly (via a PC) - not actually in person - although I might could meet up with one of them in SF. I'm getting to the age that I might be able play the role of 'sugar daddy' for a few of them. They certainly don't need a 'daddy' - by any means. I won't drop names.. but they are mostly former porn stars who have now taken up somewhat different careers paths and/or lifestyles. Two are studying in college now. The other is looking to re-boost his career and branch out making his own porn. They are all smart, energetic, ambitious, and giving individuals (as in "loving") who are stuck up on themselves in reality.  They are men that anyone would be proud to know or glad to have as friends - besides the fact that they are drop-dead gorgeous. But every good (and bad) thing must come to an end - and I don't mean the anus. So -- in the end (no pun intended) I don't really care that or whether I can't have sex with them. They'll make me happy enough as it is - just learning to be themselves in their post-porn lives. Follow up: Let me re-emphasize one of my points above. They _ARE NOT_ so stuck on themselves (as one may think) is what I had meant to write. However, it's true that they didn't make it to near the top of the gay porn industry by being sweet and docile either. They can be cocky, sometimes even arrogant, but then they do get fucked in the ass in most of their films.
	I guess I have an automatic affinity for those ex-porn stars who frequently (or exclusively) played popular bottoms. Those are the ones who are likely to get the bum rap or who can't adopt a new 'role' (by buffing up with muscle training and steroids) to play a BDSM top or a daddy bear when they start to get older, or reach the big 30 or 40 (and older). So my (oversensitive, almost female) brain gets all mushy over these poor sweet-butt hotties, who are getting a bit too old to play twinks, have a new hubby who wants him to quit porn, or who finally have developed aspirations to do some more challenging and creative with their lives - not that I am decrying their porn careers in the least.